Jealousy killed the C.A.T.

A strange thing ocurred tonight. I was/am jealous of a friendship. Ok, I know I have no right to be jealous, I mean, I haven't exactly tried my hardest to be really close with these two individuals, but I couldn't help but state in my head, "Hey she was my friend first. BACK OFF!"

Yeah, it's a little childish and stupid but I couldn't help it. When i first met the girl, i loved her! We were the same person. I really think had I maybe tried a little harder, we could've been the friendship I observed a mere hour ago.

The thing is, I've known the male counterpart of the frienship longer. Nearly three years. So I can't really hate/make-fun of/swear about him behind his back. I like him too. He is an old friend. A good friend. But Damn it! I am jealous. I can't help it. It's just like that saying, "Jealousy killed the cat". Wait. I think that was curiosity. Meh, ah well. It still applies.

Patron Saint

I believe Dwayne Hoover wrote it best:

Enemies:

1. The winter/snow/ cold weather
2. The whole damn states of Indiana and Kentucky. I need my friend back now. Ok?!

Nothing much happens...

My friend Ness and I have been having discussions of late. It's crazy how we both feel exactly like we did last year at this time. Damn winter.

I have reflected back. At this time last year, our good friends were about to move florida. I seriously could not imagine what life would be like without them here. Then more quickly than i liked they were gone and I no longer had to imagine. Now, I know that i've talked about this before, but hey, it's my blog. They left and soon everyone started to leave, more for mission purposes but they left all the same. And thus this damn city became empty. Void of the people I grew up with and was tight with.

I got off the point. I was trying to say that we were getting ready to HAVE to say goodbye. Now, we are the ones leaving and I think we are getting ready to HAVE to say goodbye again. Granted, we're more happy about it this time around, but the waiting is driving me nuts. Waiting for something good to happen is always hard though. You just want it to come sooner. It's pretty much the same waiting for bad things. You'd almost just rather get them over with. The sooner things change the sooner you can adjust. You can move on. You can start to find some new happiness with things as they currently are. But the fact that it's 37 days away? I'll go grab my straightjacket.

Elephunk

So a funny thing happened tonight. I went upstairs to start my selected film for the night (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me), but my dad was watching the Republican Debate on CNN. Being one who'd rather watch fictional charactes on the small screen, I moved to change the channel. Then, suddendly, I didn't. You pickin' up what I'm layin' down?

I watched the Republican debate! What the hell?

By the end of the two hour session I found myself arguing with the televised Ron Paul about the war. I was applauding Sen. Huckabee's beliefs on the Holy Bible. I was completely entralled by McCain and Rudy's verbal sparing match. Seriously! What the hell? Who is this strange person booing potential Presidential candidates? It's not the Casey we all know and love.

Thinking back on the odd situation a few hours later, I believe I know what is going on. I'm growing up. I'm beginning to form ideals and concepts of what I want from my President, which I'll come to press upon my own children till they resent me to form political ideals of their own.

I wish me luck.

Maybe this Christmas

Here's my issues with the whole holiday jolliness. I HATE it. Maybe I am just a bitter angry person. Maybe I was raised to dislike merryment. Anything could be possible. All I know for sure is that the holiday season has no reason. I mean, seriously, I know he ain't so real, but i don't understand the positive imagery of an old man in a red suit breaking into your house. I can't see why that wouldn't freak kids out.

And another thing, why do people pretend they are sooo happy at this time of year? If anything it adds more stress to hardworking parents who try to make sure their children get what the want from the A-morphous concept that is "Santa". If the child doesn't get exactly what they want and how they want it, the parents feel like failures because they didn't get it right. Then the child is upset and makes the whole damn day worse than it needs to be. I mean, even getting your friends gifts can be pretty stressful. You wanna get them something they'll like, but you don't wanna just ask them what they want cause 'it'll ruin the fun' or whatever. But the issue with that is that you can never know what a person will think of a gift until they see it. You can think they'll like it, but when they open it they can get fairly disappointed.

However, Ron Sexsmith might have it right:
Maybe this Christmas will mean something more
Maybe this year love will appear
Deeper than ever before

It is unlikely, but as I said: Anything's Possible.

Obituary

Joc LePhon passed away today of a terminal cancer. He has survived by his owner, Casey Tregeagle and will be dearly missed. Born, or gotten, August 7, 2006, Joc lived to be 15 months old (around 95 in phone years). He was a great phone and provided many pictures of Tregeagle's to the general public. The cancer hit on Halloween of this year and spread quickly. The funeral service was held earlier today. If you should decide to send flowers, please forward them Casey Tregeagle's residence.

All that you've left behind...

So I got my confirmation e-mail saying I was invited to participate in the Disney College Program last friday. I so happy i literally let out a wail. My parents, knowing I was to get the e-mail that day, came down and asked for the news. I looked like I was about to bawl, so of course they thought I didn't get it (I usually don't cry when I'm happy. I'm not sure I've ever been happy enough to actually merrit some salty moisture from the eyes). I read them the verdict: "Congratulations! You passed your recent Walt Disney World® Character Audition and will be invited to participate in a Character Performer Role in the Disney College Program!!"

Before I had finished the sentence that filled me with joy, my mom had let the salty moisture overtake her. However, it was for very different reasons.

This is when I realised something. For months, I truly believed that my absence from this ghost town of a place would go unnoticed since 90% of anyone I grew up with is gone. But there is quite a number of people who will be affected by my move. My family for starts. Often I get the feeling I am a pain in all their asses, but my brother told me he nearly broke into tears at lunch on monday. (When he told his friend I was leaving, she asked where the call was. I told him if anyone else asks that i was called to the Florida, Walt Disney World Mission.) Anyways, the moral of the story is people's life is affected by your absence. Don't think you don't matter or that you won't be missed. Cause you will.

That was my emotional nugget of the day brought to you by Samsung. "When you got somewhere to go, Samsung gets your things there."

Ice, Ice, Baby

So in Entertainment Weekly there is an article written by Steven King, explaining by his definition, what is cool and what isn't. I think cool is something or someone can become cool then loose it's cool factor. Cool is a state of being that can change (ex. 'I'm feeling good' to 'I'm feeling loads of pain because I just fell down three flights of stairs.) But for the most part, once you're cool. its for life. Here are some other things I think are cool.

E.W. columnist Steven King is cool. E.W. Movie Critic Owen Gleiberman is not. Anyone who gives Madagascar and A is not cool. While I understand it, the Writer's Guild of America strike isn't cool. However, many of the shows the writers work on are. Tina Fey, Shonda Rimes, and Bryan Fuller are the popsicles in the fridge

Now Britney Spears as a person is not so cool, but her new album Blackout is. Regina Spektor is cool; Beyonce is not. Ashley Tisdale releasing an album is not cool. Johnny Depp doing his own vocals in Sweeney Todd is cool.

In TV, Conan O'Brien is cool; Jay Leno is not. Kathrine Heigl is not cool (yes, you can win awards and not be cool); Chadra Wilson is cool. House is cool because he doesn't give a crap. In Heroes, Peter finding himself in the future is cool; Hiro finding himself in the past is not cool at all. The Office used to be coolest but someone took it out to defrost. Private Practice could've been cool but took a vacation to Hawaii. Pushing Daisies is ice ice baby.

Now, Denzel Washington in a suit is cool. Russel Crow in his nasty 70's outfits is not. Harry Potter 3 and 5 are cool though 1, 2 and 4 are not. Tim Burton is cool cause he is weird. Viggo Mortensen WAS cool as Aragorn. Orlando Bloom WAS cool as Legolas. Transformers is and will always be cool. Ocean's Eleven is cool no matter how many uncool sequels they make.

Remember, cool is a state of being. I can't help being 6' zip and I can't help being cool. Just like Alec Baldwin can't help leavin angry messages on his daughter's voicemail...and being uncool.

Done and Done

K, there is this movie. Its called 'Juno' and it comes out Dec. 14 but kids, I am pee excited for it. Which for those of you who don't know me as well, that is like my highest level of excitment. Check out the trailer

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z_qX1sx8WRU

Just like Sarah...

So I work at a certain grocery store, which shall remain nameless henceforth. The work, well it's repeadative and redundant and repeadative and redundant. (I certainly am entertaining Mac -Indubatively Tosh.) Coming back from the tangent. In other words, my mind wanders frequently.

What's more frequently than frequently? Constantly? Yeah, let's go with constantly.

So my mind wanders constantly. I can't avoid the thoughts in my brain such as this: "I can't wait till I'm in Florida and NOT doing this job". I mean, as fun as it is to be a checker at the local gro- Ok, i'm gonna stop there. I can't even say that sarcastically. That's how much I dislike my means of providing for...myself.

I wanna go work in Florida for the Big Mouse! Now, daddy, I want it now! I'm so sick of this weather confused state that is Utah. In Florida it's warm. It knows the weather it's going to have each morning. Warm. It's so easy. Oh, but Utah. Here is what I think is the thought process of Utah as it wakes
"Well, what should the weather be today? Sunny? NO, cloudy! No, no. Muggy. No, it's Me, I can't have humidity. Hmmm, Sunny i think. Or no, the sun should be out but the temperature is really low. Ha, yeah, sunny, but freezing! It's brilliant."

I wanna move to a state where it knows what the weather will be. I wanna have a job where my mind doesn't wander constantly. I wanna go somewhere where I'll always have something to do so me and Ness don't wind up sitting at my house all night. I wanna have fun. Just like Sarah Jessica Parker. Yes, just like Sarah.

A little help...

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key

I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad cause you're on your own?)

No, I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love

Would you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, I'm certain it happens all the time
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends

In a single moment

So earlier today, my friend told me for an english assignment she was going to have to write a paper on a single moment that changed her life. One event/point/instant where she knew her life was going to be different from then on. So I began to think if i've had anything like that happen to me and i seriously couldn't think of one. How pathetic! Many hours later I've realized that i have had numerous instances that were life changing and i didn't even realize it. I just needed to blurt out a few.

It's November, I can't remember quite what day, but it was November. It was opening night of the first play i'd ever done and what am I? The lead of course! The person who has to carry the entire show to the likely mediocre applause to follow what I thought would be a mediocre performance from a novice actor. Tevye was so beyond my mindset and I honestly couldn't believe the Nuttcase of a director cast me in such a part. I'd had absolutely no acting experience so how exactly was I supposed to pull this off? Never have I felt sick to my stomach from nerves. As my father applied the heinousness that is Spirit Gum which would glue a faux moustache and beard made from horse hair to my acne-filled face, I considered running. I honestly did. I could not believe I was about to go on a seemingly ginormous stage and say the lines I suddendly couldn't remember. However, as soon as that curtain rose and i began spouting off my lines, I knew I would never be able to shake the acting bug, EVER AGAIN!

It's June 18, 2005. Me, my father, my uncle and I had just arrived home from a showing of Batman Begins. We discussed in great detail each section we loved, all the action scenes, the romance, the dark moments. Then I get a phone call. Having seen many movies, I know a phone call after a great night is a tad ominous. It's a schoolmate. And he tells me, our beloved drama teacher passed earlier that day. I couldn't (or wouldn't) believe him. Surely this has to be some sick joke. He goes on to tell me that they are having a type of wake at the Sacketts house. Needing to see to believe I drove over there. The sound of many a musical theater song, full of hopes for better days reach my ears before the the door is opened. As I enter, I'm drowned in a wave of tears and emotion and I know it's true. The disbelief fades away and my own set of tears begin to fall.

Flashforward, a year and a half. November 2006. My family and I are in California for our annual road trip. At random, my family decided to venture out to the Century City mall. They had a Borders and I LOVE Borders. I convinced my parents to get the Lost soundtrack if I can get it at Christmas. Across from the eatery is a gigantic advertisment for The Holiday. So while I'm staring at a 15 ft. Jack Black, I get a call. Oh, those ominous phone calls. It's my friend Janessa. She explains how one of my best friends ( her bf) and some select other friends got an internship. An internship where they would move halfway across the states and work that oh so famous mouse. And the tears begin. Turns out him leaving would start off what shall hence forth be known as 'the year of leaving'. Soon after, other friends start skiping town to serve the Big Guy in the sky. One by one. It was like the second season of Lost where characters got picked off one at a time.

Now, in just a few weeks, (I hope) a major life change will occur. There will be many moments where everything changes. People, time, life. Some could say it's those changes that shape our lives and make us who we are. Well I say it's how we handle the changes that makes us who we are. Just some philosophy there for ya. Spark a life changing moment!

Today I love...

Friends you never get sick of

Spicy Cajun Chicken Linguini from Red Lobster

The Fact that i actaully miss HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

the LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL Soundtrack

'DIE HARD'

Starting sentences with "I feel..."

Bruce Campbell in "ARMY OF DARKNESS"

Desperatly wanting to watch HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2

UGLY BETTY

Money

"REASONS TO LOVE YOU" by Meiko

Getting Tickets for REGINA SPEKTOR

House

Not working over the weekend

That florida is gonna happen

MASSIVE ATTACK

"Jackson" by Joaquin Pheonix and Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon

Phish Food

CHUCK and REAPER

and last but not least Friends who don't seem to get sick of me

Utah as a Condom

Imagine, if you will, Utah, and more specifically, Utah County as a condom. Now I know many of you are already moving you're mouses to the little 'x' that will close you out of this blasphemous, sinful window, but for the rest of you hear me out.

We are raised in a very religion based society. We learn at a very young age that stealing is bad and that if you swear you'll get a certain spice poured on your tongue. We learn all liars will get punished, if you are nice to everyone you'll have friends, and if someone jumps off a cliff that it doesn't mean we have to as well.

The society protects itself from the evils of the world. Parents try to "raise children the right way". We come together as a community to shield young people from being tarnished. In doing this, our society essencially becomes a plastic incasing, always trying to be safe. Do you see where I'm going with this? In trying to protect ourselves, we become an object we don't even to discuss or understand till we are in high school, when hormones are flying. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing. It'd actually wise. By doing this, we're more likely to ensure that we will be surrounded by good people who will have the same ideals.

But this can only take us so far. Just like a condom, this plan isn't 100% full proof. When this plastic bubble pops we are exposed. It's a little shocking and overwhelming. We suddenly know people who act on those things we were protcted from. I'm not saying they are bad people. On the contrary, some of those people are very encouraging of finding your own way. You don't have to do something that they do.

My bubble popped recently. I suddenly find myself having friends who drink, others that as Aaron Gordon says, "Have done the beautiful", and another who isn't mormon. But that is how it is in the popped world outside of Utah i have come to realize. Not everyone, everywhere was raised the same way. Does having done those things make them bad? I don't know how it could. Each of the friends I affore mentioned are facinating people with amazing hearts. They are good people who just try to do their best. Everyone has good in them, well, except Ben from Lost, but I am speaking in reailty.

The right thing isn't nesicarily the same for everyone. What we feel is right for us might not be what is for another. We shouldn't take it upon ourselves to make that judgement. We should just be nice to everyone and let them do their own thing. Sound familiar?