No Shelter

I'm about to be homeless. Come Feb. 1st, I have no shelter for protection. I'm getting worried about this. If you hear of anyone in need of a roommate, let me know. Pretty please with cherries on top?

...just one more

Tonight was the finale to a mundane season of So You Think You Can Dance?

Now, in this finale show, the judges get to pick their favorite numbers from the season but they left out a crucial dance.

This was from the "Meet the Top 20" episode before the competition actually started. I suppose they really couldn't pick it as it features Billy Bell who had to bow out due to illness but it by far one of the most amazing perfomaces of the past weeks. It is also one of the only Mandy Moore pieces I thuroughly enjoy. Let the contemporary seap into your every pore and soak in the amazingness.

"Viva la Vida"

Ode to Time

I'm gonna try to make this sound as honest and real as possible.

But I'm not making any promises.

I know I have stated how, in my oppinion, 24 is amazing. So this is just a rieteration.

24 is truly amazing. I consider myself an avid television viewer. I watch more shows and have more seasons of Tv-on-DVD than I care to discuss. No, I am not a certified critic, nor have I yet contributed anything of value to the medium. But I do have damn fine taste. I know good programming when I see it and 24 is one of the most engaging shows you will ever see.

To get more specific, season 5 of this show exceeds its own extraordinarily high standards. It's affected me. It is a powerful, emotional, intense day in the life of Agent Jack Bauer. He takes us through his day, giving us a glimpse of the lengths he is willing to go to to keep the civilians of the United States safe. In season 5, he is in a particularly vulnerable state as he is suppose to be dead. But once more, he sticks his neck out to save lives. He is a patriot, a hero.

I do know that Jack Bauer is a fictional character played by Kiefer Sutherland on a television program. A.K.A. NOT REAL. I get it. But it has brought out an emotional response in me, which is really what TV and movies (good tv and movies anyway) are supposed to do. Make you feel something.

I recomend you watch the show, obviously. If you get to Season 5 you will be treated with intense story involving some deadly Sytox nerve gas, outstanding performances from a fantastic case, including Gregory Itzin's award winning turn as the crooked President Logan, and 24 episodes of sheer entertainment.

Damn it, you're running out of time!

Thank you Joe Purdy

I just can't seem to get it right today
I just can't seem to get it right today
I just can't seem to get it right today
I guess I'm gonna give up
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up

Thank you, Joe Purdy, for providing appropriate words for what I am feeling.

Letters in a blog

I'm trying this. Just go with it.

Dear fantasmic,

Thank you for giving me OT, I really do appreciate it. But you are wearing me out. You are creating very long work days for me and it's taking his toll.

Dear Dr. Pepper,

Thank you for sustaining me. I would be a pile of mush flesh-like product if it wasn't for you.

Dear Friend,

I'm sorry I continually do things to upset you. I feel like things are just getting misunderstood. I'm trying to not upset you, its just clearly not working well.

Dear tv-on-dvd,

I love you.

Thank you for your time.

Let's Chat

Ok, so Facebook chat iritates me.

To start at the beginning, I feel a slight twinge of annoyance in the depths of my soul that I have to log onto Facebook in the first place. I never have really loved the site, it was just what everyone else started using and I'm fine to go along with things. I can adjust to it, whatever. Its fine. I was just loyal to myspace, I liked it better. Then it made its decent into obscurity and irrelevance. Which has left me stuck on the social network site I would've rather opted out of.

Anyway, you can use a form of Instant Messaging that they call "Facebook Chat". While in average situations, this tool is fine to use, but once you are having a serious important discussion, it makes the vein in my forehead surge with annoyance. You see there is this little speech bubble that pops up when the other person is typing.

Often people will write and rewrite what they are going to say which makes the bubble appear then vanish multiple times. And frequently, the result is a 3 word sentence. Yes, I am in impatient man. I never claimed to be otherwise. This is not my choice form of communication, but if need be, I will adapt and learn to put my impatience in a little box so there is only joy and love in the room.

Christ-mehs

I don't really like the holidays. There was just a lot of fighting going on during the holidays while I was growing up. Then, when I got to be about 15, I just got myself into situations that left me upset and lonely at the "happiest time of year". Anyway, point being, I'm not particularly fond of any of the holidays (I do really like 4th of July though. I'm not really sure how that one got through, but alas, there we are).

This Christmas will be my first away from home. I am kinda sad about that. My first Dec. 25 with no snow or having to wait up in my brothers room to see what we got from Santa (my parents brought us down one at a time, youngest to oldest, which of course means I was the last to go.) In the later years, having my grandpa come give 'the grandparent gift' (which is a term I just coined) and join in the Christmas morning merriment.

The Grandparent Gift
Definition: The miscellaneous and often random gift you recieve from a family elder, because they have absolutely no idea what you would like/want/need.

Anyway, after my siblings begged to open everything and my mom would joke about having to choose 1 thing to send back to Santa, which would make the younger siblings very upset and scream and whine and throw things, we got ready to go to my grandma's (different side of the family). Around 11-12 we packed up the Oddesey with our favorite gadget/toy and went to have the super-sized family gathering down at Grandma Colleen's to show off/compare our awesomeness.

Once here, there was still that excited buzz of sharing what we got before we ate breakfast. My grandma decided long, long ago that she needed to go get a ham for this(I think its the only time of year I ever ate ham). There was also vats of eggs and oj and usually some sort of fruit salad and, of course, Mickey Mouse waffles. Again, this is the only time all year that these waffle irons, with my boss's face, are used. It's comforting.

Before we settle into a nice food coma, we got our presents from Grandma. These gifts were often preselcted by ourselves. Around Thanksgiving, she'd take us all shopping to get jean's or shoes or whatnot so we always knew what we were getting and we'd convey the appropriate amount of enthusiasm and we'd hug her and have to take a picture with her. Mostly because my mom likes to take a picture of everything and make sure she gets 2-3 shots of it all just in case the first doesn't turn out correctly. This did not please grandma. She has A LOT of grandchildren so she has to sit and smile for about 10 minutes to get through them all and she is a woman who does not enjoy smiling and posing for extended periods of time.

Anywho, I don't know that I was planning on sharing all that but i did. I'm gonna miss all that this year. And even though, the super-sized family breakfast was packed with passive-aggressive tension, it was still a nice concept to be with family on Christmas. This year, I'll be singing and dancing for other people's families, which is cool too, I guess.

In my effort to get the "humbugs" out of me, I added some holiday music to the playlist. Enjoy.

Oh and I would also like to apologize for all of the run-on sentences in this blog. I never took English in college.

double dose of pleasant

Ok so third post of the day. Thats intense. For me anyway. For +brycrash that's just a regular day in the blogesphere, but for me, three in a day is a big deal (heheheh...dirty)

I heard these two songs on my iPod driving home from work and they took some of the glum out of my day.

The first is "The Bird and the Worm" by Owl City. You can locate the song in the playlist on your right.

If you're the bird whenever we pretend it's summer
Then I'm the worm, I know the part; it's such a bummer
But fair is fair, if my segments get separated, I'll scream
And you'll be there

Close your eyes (close my eyes)
So I'd get caught and off of your shoulder
And feel the shine (feel the shine), I'm hooked so toss me over
And cast the line (we'll all try)
I'll throw a party and greet my undersea friends (it depends)
As they arrive (if they arrive)

You and I left our troubles far behind (troubles far behind)
But I still have just one more question on my mind
For all my pals who live in the oceans and the seas
With friends like these
Well, who needs enemies?

If I'm your boy I'll take a short cut we remember
And we'll enjoy picking apples in late September
Like we've done for years
Then, we'll take a long walk through the cornfield
And I'll kiss you between the ears

If you're my girl, twirl me around your room with feeling
And as we twirl the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling will shine for us
As love sweeps over the room 'cause we tend to make each other blush (you make me blush!)

You and I left our troubles far behind (troubles far behind)
But I still have just one more question on my mind
For all my pals who live in the oceans and the seas
With fronds like these
Well, who needs anemones

You're the bird, I'm the worm and it's plain to see
That we were meant to be

We're meant to be

We were meant to be

We were meant to be

Awesome right? The second had some nice nostalgia awesomeness to it. It's "Here (In Your Arms)" by Hellogoodbye. Enjoy and goodnight.

I like,
Where we are,
When we drive,
In your car.
I like,
Where we are,
Here.

Cause our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Our lips can touch,
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

I like,
Where you sleep,
When you sleep,
Next to me.
I like,
Where you sleep,
Here.

Our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Cause our lips can touch,
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

Our lips can touch.
Our lips can touch,
Here.

You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your...

You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I've missed you quite, miss you quite..."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now theres no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

Here in your arms.
Oh, here in your... arms.

Dear Anonymous,

I miss you. I missed you a lot today. I know things got messed up and it's entirely my fault. I don't completely understand why it is like this, but I know we're just doing the best we can. It just sucks. I wish I could do more. Hell, I wish I knew what to do. I try to talk with you, I do. I don't get a whole lot back, but that's okay. I just miss how it was. When we're communicating. Talking. Making jokes and just enjoying the company we had. Then things got weird and yadda yadda yadda...I'm just sorry they are weird. It makes me sad. I know that sounds lame and fake. I'm sure this whole speech probably sounds fake and insincere, but I promise it is coming from a heartfelt place.

Point is...I miss you.

i need some glue

Things are messed up right now. Be "things" I mean the various aspects of life. Money, transportation, friends, work, etc. Each of these concepts are getting sloppy. I don't like the rate of which they have fallen into disarray either. They got all skiwampus so quickly that I'm feeling overwhelmed at how rapidly and easily everything started to fall apart. Maybe if I had some metaphorical glue. Yeah, then I could put things back together. Like a kindergarten crafts project. But the glue required to fix these tears isn't easy to come by I'd think. I can't just run to Target and pick up some of Elmer's finest. No, I'm gonna have to work harder for it.

Wait, do you have any glue I could borrow?

November was White, December is Gray

It's December. That means 2009 is almost over and my mind has gone a-boggling by that fact.

Down to business; I think I'm slipping into a funk. I don't really know why. I just have all these things on my mind. Previous to this moment, I usually will think about something for a few hours then I'll get distracted by something (tv, movie, granny drivers etc.) and will no longer be affected by my thinking brain of thinkfulness.

I think the 1st of the new long-lasting thoughts is that I have to move in a little less than 2 months and I have no game plan. It's my own fault of course. I'm royal Duke of Procrastination. So I don't freequently have plans till the last minute, which I clearly now have a problem with.

A childhood friend of mine passed away a few days ago. I hadn't really spoken to him since before my Pokemon stage, well over a decade ago (wow, that makes me feel old). Anywho, I wasn't close to him but his death has flipped my thinking switch. I feel worried all the time now that anyone closer to me is gonna go. What would I do? I don't know that I am properly equipped to handle that situation. I'd probably quit and move back. I wouldn't have a job there though. How would I make money? I don't wanna work at...........You see? Thats how my brain is right now. I was not intending to write the last few sentences but one thought leads to the next which has a follow up thought and so on and so forth till I'm falling into a swirly vortex like in an old Alfred Hitchcock move. Alternative analogy-an unpleasant word web.

Anyway, those are just 2 examples of the concepts plaguing my countenence. If anyone finds the off switch don't wait for my ok. Switch it off then inform me. Thank you.

Last Minute Additions

It is the last day of Nov. And I have many unfortold things I am thankful for so I will bust them out in a rapid fashion.

I'm thankful for Dr. Pepper.

It makes the world taste better. It sustains me. Keeps me running. For that I am eternally grateful. I started drinking it a few years ago while working at Hale Center Theater Orem. You see at that point I was an avid drinker of the sperm-killing Mountain Dew. However, when I would go get my free drink and there was no yellow 5 infested juice, I had to drink something else. Which happen to be Dr. Pepper. We met, fell in love, and the rest is history.

I am thankful for my job.

While, yes, overworked and underpaid, I love my job. I get to perform for vast crowds and bring joy to little HSM obsessed children. It also keeps me from becoming obese and unhappy with life because other wise I would be fat and working at a job i don't enjoy which would create ample misery.

I'm thankful for other film oriented minds.

I'm used to people not having any clue as to what I am saying when I discuss filmography. But, in the high school breakroom, I can make an obscure reference Frank Capra and certain kids understand what I am saying. It's not a big thing but its nice to have some like-mindedness everynow and then.

I am thankful that I have "Main Street Electrical Parade" on my iPod.

After a dull day of stupidity and rude and dullness, the music from the original night parade came on my iPod and it thouroughly delighted me and made me want to immediatly extricate myself to CA to watch it live(but for now on youtube). And also be full of delight and undull.

I'm thankful for my best friend.

It's pretty cool when all I do is walk up and he knows if something is wrong or not. Tis quite awesome.

It was a wonderful November. Thank you to all persons and things that contributed to the lovely thankfullness of my month. It brought much pleasure to my life to be able to share my happy times with you readers. I know I'm not the most eloquent but I hope you liked my musings on the world.

Dancing With Myself

I am thankful for mental health nights.



On occasion, I find myself going slighly crazy. One of those times when you feel nouns (i.e. everything, everyone) is stupid and and full rude and jerk and lame. When these occasions sneak up on me, I find its best to treat yourself to a fun theraputic night. Give yourself a break from those people, places, and things that are currently causing perturbment.

Last night, I did just that. I went to Books-A-Million and browsed. Grabbed dinner from Chipotle, swung by Target, caught myself up on my stories, chilled in the hot tub, got some help on a video game, and watched some more TV. It was relaxed but had pleantly of activity, which is key to a good mental health night. I wake up this morning and feel much better.

I am thankful for slightly self-absorbed, enjoyable, perturbment detoxing mental health nights.

Captain VonDeuche

so this is me blogging Dr. Seuss style:

this is for snarktastic, thuglike Captain VonDeuche
More arrogant than Mrs. Tallulah-May Stoosh
he seems to not get that he won the war
He was first choice, the one who got the score
So therefore Cap'n, with a nose high in the air
Just leave me alone and quit with the glares
Why ruin my night with your insecurity
Be happy with your prize, not a source of misery

Thank you and goodnight

No more math

I am thankful for my recent trip home.

That week changed things I feel. It changed my perspective of Utah for one. When I left it was a dismal unhappy place. And maybe I'm wrong, but it seems life has come back to it.

On a deeper level, I think I have spent the last 2.5 years trying to make things like my senior year again. Like, if i could just get all the variables together I could make the equasion I'd want. Slowly, I've let go of this notion. The trip has gotten me to drop it completely and be ok with it. I've seen now that the things that would need to happen to get back to that "happy time" in my life, can't happen at all cause the variables have changed so dramatically. Does that make any sense?

Maybe if you had an example:

I'd need 2 and 4 and 7 to get the out come of 13. So I have been trying to get those numbers together, but they have all changed. 2 is now 5. 4 is now 1. and 7 is now -6. so even if I did rangle those numbers from my past together, no matter how hard I tried, they wouldn't yeild the result I'd want. Cause 5 and 1 and -6 does NOT equal 13. Ya know what it does amount to? NOTHING.

Anyway, my point is this. Thanks to my excursion to Utah, I have stopped trying so hard to bring back the past. I've been trying to live in the past and I feel like it's made me an unhappy person. But I think now, just like Bry, I can be in the present. And start looking toward the future. And I'm good with that.

(P.S. I've been meaning to write that blog ever since I got back and I'm really glad I sat down and made myself write it out.)