Working on it

"I don't handle change well."

I've said that numerous times in the past few days and it is still so very true. Well, I think I can handle it alright when I want/need it to happen. But when it leaves things exposed to the mighty powers of the SUCK gods, it makes my aprehensive to take change lightly.

I think that was an unnecessary comment. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't take change lightly. I end up excessivly over-analyzing situations. Let the various outcomes stress me out so intensely that I come to the conclusion that absolutely no change should take place. I know how to live in the current situations. I don't know if I will if the situations evolve or progress. I know that sounds really dramatic, but when you are in that situation, it seems right on the money. I have even realized that I subconciously ruin happy evolvements in my life cause I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to be happy. Thats a change from the present.

Ok, again, that sounds over-dramatic. It's not that I'm not happy. I really am most of the time. I seem to just deny or wreck possibly occurances that will raise my happiness quotient. It's like a little person (a nymph of somekind, perhaps?) is in my brain and when things are getting good, it shuts all acceptance functions down and cranks the freak-out frequencies to 11.

Anyway, not the point. The actual concept I was attempting to target was as follows. A shit-ton of things are about to change/are changing in the next few weeks. I have to move. MOVE. To a new apartment with different roommates. I'm gon have to go to this festival officially. No longer as a civilian. I'm not fully ready for all of this. I'm not sleeping well. Thats not helping.

I'm working on it. Trying.

Present

Every once in a while, this wave of nostalgia will hit me. This (almost) yearning for the past. It's like I want to be in that time more than I want to be in my present.

I hate it when that happens!

Listen, (most of) the past was great. I had friends and fun and girls who didn't wanna date me (the present is very similar). High school was miserable and great, lame and a hoot. All the things that time of you life should be. I find myself wanting to bring the then to the now. And then I realize...

You can't. You can't really integrate your friends from high school and make them a big part of your life. Because, now, after two years (just throwing out a number) they aren't the people you knew. They've changed. You've changed. Living situation, hopes and dreams, personality, morality, likes and distastes; all changed. You might not like them anymore and they might not like you. You have drifted apart. But, i suppose, that is the natural order of things.

I do try to keep up with my friends from anytime. I don't always succeed. But even if I talk to them every 3-5 months, I know something is different. But I continue to try to re-friend my once-friends, casue thats what friends do.

A Change Is Gonna Come

Change.

It just needs to happen. It's gonna happen...I hope. NO! Change is good. It WILL happen and it will be ok. Right?

But what if it's not ok? What if life gets sucked into some sucky vortex of super sucktidtude? That'd blow.

No, I'm not the happiest person in the world. I know that. But it has been revealed that certain people feel I am one of the most unhappy people they know. It was a little bit of a bitch-slap to the balls. Stung. I just didn't think I was that unhappy. But gimme the dunce cap and send me to the corner, cause once again, I was incorrect.

So. From now on, I will be happy. Cause I used to be happy, then all my sunshine got rained out and it's been cloudy skys ever since. No wonder Bry used to (and prob still does) call me Eeyore. Well, no more, I say. That damn donkey is gonna disappear. It's gonna be smiles and good times now.

(That was a good start. Hey, it's a work in progress.)

So They Say

I am sad to report that our Editor at Large, Casey Tregeagle, is no longer our Editor. He has decided to step down as to not drag the good name of this blog into the dirt. What, with all the rumors surrounding his recent stint in rehab, sex scandal with a Jane Doe, and his near arrest this morning, he decided what would be best for The Daily Casey was to step down and temporarily and name a new Editor. Now, I know its only temporary, but I will strive to be everything that Tregeagle could not. It's time for this blog to enter a new era. Crisp reporting will take the place of whinny venting. Thoughts will be delivered objectively rather than immaturely biased. When this blog first came on the scene, it delivered a wit and a knowledge previously unseen. It has since become a place for, pardon the phrase, bitching and moaning. But no more. We will instead head into a new frontier of creativity and optimism.

Sincerely,
Alexander Nicolas
New Editor-in-Chief
The Daily Casey

The Wall

Since I have my own room (King size bed included), I decided I could decorate a little. Lemme know what you think.

Change is gonna come...

France is gone.

You see I had a french roommate. His name was Philipe, and he was kinda a deuche. However, he was three weeks into living in our apartment and, evidentally, Mayor McStank (my other roommate) was so unbareable to live with that he was driven from Versaille. It's okay. He ate my food and said nothing about it. I secretly hope France burns.

Anyway, the new guys is moved in. French had been gone for twenty mins and Britain moved in. Dan seems nice enough. I just feel sorry he is in the same room with the Mayor of Stankville.

London is better than Paris.

We Get On

Guys, I totally finished Twilight! I have this great sense of accomplishment seeping through my body. It has taken me a year to finish that freakin' book. A year of everyone glaring at me when I said it was a snooze-fest. But I got to the end and it turned out to be quite the page turner. To bad it took 350 pages to get to it.

But now, it's time to move on. A new day, a new novel. I have it picked out and it will probably also take me a year to finish but what else is new right? It's called New Moon.

Goal one for July: Complete

Shave and a hair cut...

Lemme know what you think.