November was White, December is Gray

It's December. That means 2009 is almost over and my mind has gone a-boggling by that fact.

Down to business; I think I'm slipping into a funk. I don't really know why. I just have all these things on my mind. Previous to this moment, I usually will think about something for a few hours then I'll get distracted by something (tv, movie, granny drivers etc.) and will no longer be affected by my thinking brain of thinkfulness.

I think the 1st of the new long-lasting thoughts is that I have to move in a little less than 2 months and I have no game plan. It's my own fault of course. I'm royal Duke of Procrastination. So I don't freequently have plans till the last minute, which I clearly now have a problem with.

A childhood friend of mine passed away a few days ago. I hadn't really spoken to him since before my Pokemon stage, well over a decade ago (wow, that makes me feel old). Anywho, I wasn't close to him but his death has flipped my thinking switch. I feel worried all the time now that anyone closer to me is gonna go. What would I do? I don't know that I am properly equipped to handle that situation. I'd probably quit and move back. I wouldn't have a job there though. How would I make money? I don't wanna work at...........You see? Thats how my brain is right now. I was not intending to write the last few sentences but one thought leads to the next which has a follow up thought and so on and so forth till I'm falling into a swirly vortex like in an old Alfred Hitchcock move. Alternative analogy-an unpleasant word web.

Anyway, those are just 2 examples of the concepts plaguing my countenence. If anyone finds the off switch don't wait for my ok. Switch it off then inform me. Thank you.

Old Friend

Ok, here we go.

I am thankful for this ravashing creature.


Its name is Julie-Ann-Garbutt. I have known her since I was in 9th grade and we did "Fiddler on the Roof" at CVJH. She is one of the most interesting people I've ever met.

Our friendship didn't really start till my junior year. There was a lot of flirtation in those years, but its cool cause we are both embued with intense flirtatiousness, so it was nice to bounce that off someone. We have done many musical productions together (Footloose, Once on this Island, etc...) as well as made a short film (Its called Thespians. There was some BRILLIANT footage of her and Bry Schultz improvising that is now lost to the cruelty of our high School Macs). She is very talented and beautiful and completely crazy and I love it. You see my particular brand of crazy blends well with hers to make a nice crazy-blend friendship.

Julie reads lots of books. I mean, LOTS. Every time I visit her blog I see she is reading a new, different book. I've always wanted to be that kid whose well read and makes witty literary references, however, I am cursed with little will to read. Lately, I find myself wanting to be consumed in a good novel and she gives perfect suggestions. I'm jealous of her ability to read lots of literature.

She shares my love for many random things and it is awesome. To name 1 specifically, 80's movies.
--Her and I, with my other friends, Dave and Trevor, were the "Breakfast Club" but really only cause we love the movie so much. Really we are nothing like any of the characters in the movie. Halloween my Sr. year the four of us were our assigned movie counter-part; Julie was Ally Sheedy's "Basketcase", I was Emilio's "Jock" (see, we really were nothin like them.)

I don't have many people I can go to to vent. She is one of them. We live miles and miles away, but we can talk like I'm down the street. When things get a little too schitzo in the FL, I can call over to the UT, and let it all go. We exchange the annoying and pleasant details of our currant circumstances and we relate and empathize and swap advice and encouraging words and feel much better after we talk (at least I do). She is a great friend and I don't know that I'd be sane right now with out her.

I'm thankful for Julie-Ann-Garbutt

Present

Every once in a while, this wave of nostalgia will hit me. This (almost) yearning for the past. It's like I want to be in that time more than I want to be in my present.

I hate it when that happens!

Listen, (most of) the past was great. I had friends and fun and girls who didn't wanna date me (the present is very similar). High school was miserable and great, lame and a hoot. All the things that time of you life should be. I find myself wanting to bring the then to the now. And then I realize...

You can't. You can't really integrate your friends from high school and make them a big part of your life. Because, now, after two years (just throwing out a number) they aren't the people you knew. They've changed. You've changed. Living situation, hopes and dreams, personality, morality, likes and distastes; all changed. You might not like them anymore and they might not like you. You have drifted apart. But, i suppose, that is the natural order of things.

I do try to keep up with my friends from anytime. I don't always succeed. But even if I talk to them every 3-5 months, I know something is different. But I continue to try to re-friend my once-friends, casue thats what friends do.

Wildfire

Rumors suck.

So do assumptions. And people. But I think people who make assumptions and spread rumors like a California wildfire suck most of all (I suppose I have to include myself in that and it's ok.)

Anyway, imagine there is a rumor going around about you. It's not true and you don't really care what random people think. But then you find out one of your best friends wholeheartedly believes the hearsay. And, on top of that, not only points out all of your odd personality quirks and flaws, things you don't like about yourself, but then uses them as evidence against you.

Yeah. People suck.

Wishin' and Hopin'

Upon skimming Emily's Entertainment Weekly, I saw Stephan King's column about his hopes and wishes for 2009. I quickly absorbed Uncle Steve's desires for the new year and couldn't help but think of some of my own. So kudos, Mr. King, for getting me a-desiring for a good year. Here are my hopes and wishes for '09.

I hope Obama can fix the garbage dump of a situation our nation is in. If McCain won I'd hope for the same thing. It's a big task and I will put my hopes behind Obams that he is the right man for the job.

I wish that people would start seeing how freakin' incredible that "How I Met Your Mother" is. Neil Patrick Harris is getting some attention for his role, so I think that is a good start! It needs some serious Emmy love.

I hope I will stop making-out with inappropriate people. I have gained a lot of self control in the past year, which again is a good start! And I hope that I will date someone that IS appropriate.

I wish for a book to catch my fancy and make me want to read it in one night. I did love the vampire antics of Stephanie Meyer, but it's a new year. Time to move on.

I wish for another great season of LOST and a redemptive season of 24.

I hope for an Oscar for Heath Ledger as the Joker.

I hope with the entirety of my over-worked heart that I'll be trained in High School.

I wish for Harry Potter 6 to be amazing and not fall flat on it's face.

I hope that I can manage to become about...let's say 8 degrees happier a person. I think that will be my '09 main idea. "Be Happy"

I wish for the continuation of my "astounding" knowledge of obscure bands.

I hope that I will get to do a lot more Block Party. I know, everyone hates it, but I loves it.

I wish for more Diablo Cody writtings. New book, new column, new movie, new tv show. Whatever form she'd do, I'd take it.

And most of all I wish, by the end of the year, I will have some idea of what I want to do with my life.

So there are my new year desires. What are yours?

One of Those Days

The last 36 hours have been educational to say the least. I have learned many much things that I will put into a list (A list Bry. I know, how you love the lists). Alright, here we go.

1. People are idiots.
2. Two CAN keep a secret...if one of them is dead. And even then that is no guarantee. Jennifer Love-Hewitt could come along and do her Ghost Whisperin' thing.
3. People will use friendship as a guise to get what they want.
4. You can do a whole slew of things while holding a 15 lb. baby. (cleaning, cooking, shaving, etc.)
5. The many house moms of the Dr. Phillps area must love their Pushing Dasies . (I went to four different stores yesterday trying to find season one on DVD)
6. Sometimes, to get something you want, you gotta go back to your roots.
7. Someone who has a cell number similar to mine is a drug dealer.
8. There is still some inocense in the world.

I hope you enjoyed this list, brought to you by The Daily Casey.

The Leaving Song

It's been kind of an out of control week. What, with Block Party training, trying (and failing and trying again) to get my car, moving out, and my best friends leaving Florida. I haven't really had a chance to breathe. But today, well, it's my day off so I can reflect. I have time for that. Anyway, I just wanted to vent for a second.



It sucks when you want to say something to people and then they leave. There are just things, good and bad, I wish I would have had the cahones to say to my peeps before they took off. Ah well, that's life I guess. I feel like Gandalf's words are very resonant to me at the moment. It only matters what you do with the time given to you. I hope I made and affect on my friends. I hope they will think differently after knowing me. I hope I made some impact.

Anyway, I will try to update a little more often.

Celebrate

So I'm online today and I am watching the dances from last night's So You Think You Can Dance?, Part 1 of the season finale. Mia choreographed the group dance for the top 4 to Hallelujah by Vitamin String Quartet. Here, just watch it. Watch it all please.


K, so as soon as I saw this I bought the song on iTunes. It just has a feel, ya know. A feel of celebration. Celebrating anything and everything. Getting a job, finding true love, excitement to see old friends, or even just that we're still breathing. I'm gonna go ahead and dedicate this song to this last week I have with my cousins and my best friend.

Alysse, Andrea, Chasten. This college program experience has been one of the most amazing things. I don't know that it would've been the same if you three had not been involved. We have gotten to spend so much time together and (to Alysse and Andrea) I am so glad that I know you as more than my cousins. You are friends, which to me, means so much more. I celebrate for that.

Chasten, you have been the most amazing friend to me. You'll be a groomsman at my wedding if not the best man. There aren't any words to accuratly describe how much you have taught me and how much I value our friendship. So I'm not gonna try. I celebrate for that.

Other people who have given me reason to celebrate:

Phil-One of the most unique, extraordinary people I have met. I feel bleesed to call you friend.

Allen- roommate extrodinaire.

Brock-insanity, awesome, coolest kid in town.

Kool and the gang know what they're talking about. Celebrate good times. I am doing just that. So thank you guys. WHHHHHHAAAAAAAA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

My Friends

I totally made two new friends!


Captain Hook


and Geppetto!


They were so crazy and fun. I hope I get to hang out with them again soon!

P.S. Goal 4 for July: Accomplished and then some

July, July!

Every Monday, a few friends and I journey to Panda Express. The holy land of gormet Chinese food. We greet May, one of the cooks/cashiers, enthusiastically. Then we dine out on the amazingness that is Panda. Once the food settles, we each read our fortunes from youngest to oldest. The extra fun part? We do "in bed" mode. I've saved a bunch and will now share.

You will be honored with a pristigious award...in bed.

Keep true to the dreams of your youth...in bed.

You will soon be reunited with an old, forgotten friend...in bed.

The face of nature reflects all of life's ups and downs...in bed.

Advancement will come with hard work...in bed.

A treasured friend will soon visit you...in bed.

and finally,
New and rewarding opportunities will soon develop for you......in bed!

Happy July everyone!

A little help...

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key

I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad cause you're on your own?)

No, I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love

Would you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, I'm certain it happens all the time
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends

It was like Communism, everybody shared

I'm writting now to convey the wonders of friendship. Friends are interesting to me because i have very few but they are vastly different. I had some out of the ordinary interactions yesterday and..well just listen.

I started off the day with confronting a good friend of mine about something i'd heard she'd said about me...over text. Rule #1, if you can see how something could turn into a fight, do it in person. Not over text or Msn (even though i constantly disobey that) So now she is out of town for two weeks and I have that to hang over my head.

Next i talked with a friend from florida. This was not bad. It was very good in fact. I haven't talked to him over the phone in a while. Just saying, it was out of the ordinary. Rule #2, try not to lose touch

Following my performance art class i went to see an Improv Comedy Troupe called Thrillionaires. It was the hardest i'd laughed in a LONG time. There i met two friends who are going on missions and a friend who just got back from college in Idaho. If it was ever possible to say alot without really saying anything, it happened then. Thank heavens for the funny show as to have something to talk about. Rule # 3, Make friends with similar interests.

To close the night, ended up in Target's parking lot. Two friends from up north came down and we took skanky pictures till 11:45, (one of them had to get home). I hang out with them often, But when i woke up yesterday i didn't think i'd end the day by lying scanelously on a bench by a dept. store. Rule #4, find ways to blow off steam.

I realize that the fourth rule doesn't really have anything to do with friendship, it's just common sense.