SPARE CHRONICLES: Return of the Spare

And now for the "long-awaited" sequel. *-means something needed to be edited for public use

Today I was a spare at DAK (Disney's Animal Kingdom). I was petrified they'd send me some place aweful. Animal Kingdom doesn't exactly have the best spare reputation. However, it was only going to be nine hours and there is nowhere at DAK that I could not tolerate for nine hours. And thus I went to work feeling a mixture tranquility and trepidation.

I checked in, warmed up, and was told to come back in an hour. So far so good. One down, eight to go. I checked back at my instructed time they attempted to send me to hang out with Ratcliffe. I immediatly produced my get out of jail phrase, "I'm too short for that". They pause only a moment then made several grim sounding phone calls and i recieved a seven word instuction;"You're gonna *hang-out-with Goofy on the boat". The boat? What boat? There is a shit load of boats at Animal Kingdom. How was I supposed to locate one in specific?

After the slight panic ceased and I managed to actually get myself to the boat, the rest of the day was pie. My job much easier when I have no guest contact. All I did was dance on a boat. It was fun. I haven't had that much fun in a couple weeks. It was a nice change.

When my four, twenty-minute boat rides were up, the sent me to "water" for parade. Which, as I'm sure you can infer, consisted of me filling cups with water. Literally. I'm not sure my day could have gotten any simpler. Filling cups with water and taking some boat rides. Now, if everyday could be like this...lovely.

Stay Tuned for the next.......SPARE CHRONICLES

6 A.M.

So as I sit here in the brink of six a.m., watching the first season of Gilmore Girls, I am in a thoughtful position.

You see, life is completely askew at 6. It is a cold, dark place. Erily quiet. Almost like you are the last survivor of some strange disease that has turned nearly every other person on earth into crazy-super-human-zombies. With my trusty German Sheapherd at my side, I strive to find a cure.

Once I pull myself out of "I Am Legend", I think about how I have been having SUPER intense dreams as of late. I can't always remember them, but I constantly wake up with my body in panic mode. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. However, I can't help the thought that if I were not here, not in Chatham Square, Florida, I would still be asleep. Probably still cold, but I'd have a thicker blanket.

Reminise

While I'm sure you all found The Spare Chronicles simply enthralling, I have to interrupt with a reminissense.

So my cousins is kinda with my neighbor, who, luckily, has a car. I say luckily because I needed a trip to the grocery store. I can only get so much milage out of freeze dried chow mein noodles.

Anyway, I need to tell you something about neighbor, let's call him B. My cousin does, so I think it's ok. You see, B isn't mormon. That's all you need to know.

We all go to get in his car and find that it is totally boss. A '89 Chevrolet Station Wagon. What made the experience even better, was we got in, and the aroma of single malt liqour and cigar smoke over took my nostrils. I have only experienced this particular scent few times before and they were all in the same place. My great aunt Dorothy's house reaked of this hybrid odor. For the last ten years of her life, she did not leave the house. She left no windows or doors open, leaving no chance to clear the air. The smell was basically baked into the house.

All of this came to me in the first ten seconds of our trip. It was interesting. It was odd. It was de-lovely.

Space Chronicles: Episode I- Time to Spare

So in all my three and a half months of working for the crazy mouse, I had never been a spare. For those of you less informed folk, if you are scheduled as a spare you are scheduled to come in just in case other folks call in. I guess Tigger's other friends usually show up to work.

Now, however, I am also friends with Goof. And Goofy's friends are flaky. And so it started Sun. I had to be in at 6. A. freaking. M. Why Goof would work at this uh-holy hour, I have no idea, that is the way the hat tilts. So I sat. One by one all of Goof's amigos come in. My roomie, Phil (who was also da G-man's spare friend that morning) were cool with it. We got paid to sit. Then, we went to check in and they needed a van driver. Phil and I look at each other is slow motion and decide we'll do it together. and let me tell you, it was the funnest shift in all the land.

Tune in next blog for another entry of.........(drum roll)............

SPARE CHRONICLES

The night before

Being as it was my besties last night in Flo Flo, I decided to forgo bed for a while to spend some quality time with her. I felt bad that the quantity was microscopic. She was playing with my hair. No matter what my state of awareness, if someone scratches my head I am out like a light.

So I wake up and everything is as it was, only everyones gone. I start to panic, thinking of all possible scenarios from Freddy Kreuger to frat party. I then see that it's four. I calm down and see my roommate went to bed. I figure my bestie went to pack for the night. So i try to go back to sleep and finally FORCE myself into dreamland.

You can imagine how pissed I was when my roommates are bellowing and the one girl I am disgusted by (thank the sweet heavens she is leaving) comes over and says "Oh is he asleep?" and the roomies say "Don't worry about it" then proceed to have the LOUDEST conversation rivaling Ross and Rachel's first break up.

But now Nessie is here and we are working on the quantity part.

So there is something you should know...

I got this idea from julie's blog. I decided to make a list of my own.

Here are some things you should know about me-

1. No matter what my job is, it's likely I will complain about it. Even if I love it.
2. I am reigning king of the sloths.
3. I have a need to feel clean. Two showers a day is not unsual for me.
4. I am always sweating. Always
5. I'm not the most masculine guy, but I like girls. And that's the gospel truth!
6. I kinda have this issue about crooked teeth. They freak me out.
7. I can get pretty easily addicted to any scripted tv show. I watch nearly every show on the networks. Resulting in 45 season of Tv on DVD
8. If I don't like you, we won't speak. If I like you, I will tease you. If I love you, you will know.
9. When playing 'Scene It' and there is an All Play, I have to say the phrase "All Play cause we all play"
10. I like my feet. Many, many, people think that feet are the most disgusting and I don't understand why.
11. I dance, but hate going to dances/dancing/clubbing/etc.
12. If I feel you are my best friend, I will say so to everyone else.
13. I am still Mormon despite the way I act.
14. My friends are my priority.
15. I don't have food at my house that requires more preperation than sticking something in a microwave.
16. If I take a girl out, we will both be checked out by men.
17. I'd rather sleep on my couch than in my room (Stinky roommate).
18. I'm a film snob. However, I end up loving some stupid movies.
19. Often I am an excellent judge of character. I can forsee people becoming stupid upon first meeting.
20. I say I'm cool with commitment, but when it comes my way I freak slightly.

What's your malfunction?

So the other day I saw Tig. It was kinda cool to see him again so we made plans to chill. The last three days have been Tigga-ful. Been helping him with character dining at a place that some call "prison", but I just call it Crystal Palace. To get there you enter the tunnels take a right and walk. Keep walking... and about when you feel that you have aged slightly it's right around the corner.

Wednesday was alot of fun. We didn't hang out for too long, but long enough that I realized I missed him. He's fun.

Thursday we went over to Playground. That's when I remembered how big a pain he can be. If he is out in the sun too long, he becomes a sweaty, whiney little bitch. Seven sets later, we parted for the evening.

Today? Today was good. We hung out on set and had some fun, but off set I totally was chilling with Pooh, Piglet, and Eeyore's friends. All girls, which for a straight guy in a gay world is always nice. And Eeyore's friend totally felt me up. It's been a while kids. It felt nice to be a metaphorical slab of beef. We nearly kissed but me being my neurotic self did not make the move. I psych myself out. I think only Freud could help me locate and terminate my perpetual inability to think a pretty girl could want me. I'm just used to being pushed away I suppose.

I totally did not mean for this to turn into a pity party. I need to work on not pulling this kind of jackassery so frequently. ANYWAYS, I was rewarded today. I have a new phrase. "What's your malfunction?" And really. What IS your malfunction?

Can't keep waiting to live

There's too many things that i haven't done yet
Too many sunsets
I haven't seen
You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down
You would've thought by now
I'd have learned something

I made up my mind when i was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
But now and again i lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in

How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles, Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and i'll be happy to follow you Love

I do what i can wherever i end up
To keep giving my good love
And spreading it around
Cause i've had my fiar share of take care and goodbyes
I've learned how to cry
And i'm better for that

Sing how far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles, Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Send me the miles and i'll be happy to
Follow you Love

Red letter day and i'm in a blue mood
Wishing that blue would just carry me away
I've been talking to God don't know
If it's helping or not
But surely something has got to got to got to give
Cause i can't keep waiting to live

How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles, Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and i'll be happy to yeah
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles, Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles, Many the miles
Been talking to God don't know if it's helping or not
Many the miles, Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles, Many the miles
Oh send me the miles and i'll be happy to
Follow you Love

There's too many things i haven't done yet
Too many sunsets i haven't seen

-Not meaning to copy Ness, but these are some lyrics also by Sara that I can relate to what is going down for me. I hope you might enjoy them as much as I do.

Sorries and quotes

Hey kids. Let's start off with a Happy St. Patty's day Halla. I'm not wearing green but if you pinch me I will kill you.

Now, to the heart of the issue. People hide things from me. It sucks but alas it is truth. Why does this occur? I have had some meditation on this question. And, like many questions before it, I don't know the answer yet. However, i have come to the conclusion that I put strains on my friendships. You see, I am an extreme case of neurotic behavior. For those of you readers of my blog you might remember a mention of a 'sassy bruntette' who subsequently broke me. Yeah, she and I used to be friends. Like good friends who talked about life, about liberty, and my pursuits of TV on DVD. Then, when I started to have feelings for her, my meurocies took over and screwed the friendship.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not shouldering all the responsibility for the friendship going awry. But a large portion of the blame is my own. Granted, that is only one case, but I think with all my friends (mostly my close ones) I might be taking advantage of their willingness to excuse my less admirable quirks. So to those of you who I've butted heads with over the past couple of days, this is my blogospheric apology. I realize that some change needs to occur in my life and I am going to try pull a 'Bob the Builder', otherwise known as a 'Chasten' to the Florida friends (and for those of you who get neither reference, I'm gonna try and fix it).

Thanks for bearin with me to the bear end. And I hope you bear around to see me again. Por Favor Mantanganse Alejado de Las Puertas.

And there goes the mailman

All I'm going to say is when you are upset and angry, it's not exactly the best time to make decisions.

There is some food for thought kids.

Not in the loop

Lets start with how it sucks that I have no communication with my best friend. I send e-mails. I have really tried. He does not respond. I don't know what else I can do. He says things in family e-mails that are forwarded to me that, although they appear harmless, sting me to my core. I truly feel like I am losing my best friend.

Now, imagine your best friend had feelings for someone and didn't tell you. How would that feel? To me it's something akin to diving head first into a box of glass shards that has a false bottom and when is hit, opens and falls thirty feet to a pool of blood thirsty sharks.

Sure that is a slight overexaggeration, but hey. This is my blog and I can dramatize things if I want to.

I'm here, I'm straight, get used to it!

So has anyone ever assumed you are of homosexual origin? No? Really? Cause that is basically all I get here. I accept the fact that I am entertainment which is where the mo's are kept. And in all honesty it's fine if you like to kiss other boys but that does NOT mean that everyone with a penis agrees. You can be gay. That is fine. Just don't be gay up on me.

I understand that the majority of people here are gay, so the "rule" 'gay until proven straight' makes sense here. But girls, if you go ahead and assume I am gay how will I prove that I am straight. It's a flaw in the idea. And guys. I like girls. Sorry to be graphic, but I like boobs. I do NOT like wedding tackle, cahones, or anything that I already have. I mean, I like my set but I have no need for another. And also, my sexual preferences are NOT (I cannot stress this enough) going to change. So once you know I am straight, DON'T ask the next day if I still am. Cause then you are a stupid gay man which is the annoying brand.

Yes. No one likes an idiotic homo.

Long time no see

Hey kids. It's been awhile. Much stuff to report so I will try to fill ya'lls in in three blogs or less.



So I am now good friends with Goofy. The big boss just decided he could be friends with shorter playas such as myself. And lemme just tell you, hanging with Goof and chillin with Tigga. Very different. Tigga completely wore me out, but at times I miss him. Goofy can be a pain in my neck (sometimes literally), but he is alot easier to be around.

Which leads to the story of my favorite shift. It was last saturday and it was a breakfast at the Regal Sun Hotel. For starts it was Sherlock Holms Goofy. Meaning he didn't have his massive green hat on, which means he didn't complain that his head hurt. Does that make sense? Anyways, next it was only 2 half hour sets which for dining is about as amazing as it can get. Then, our off set location was a freaking hotel room! Meaning naps on beds. Fantastic. and finally, We got to eat from the buffay. All things combined makes Casey a happy boy!

Merry Happy

Even though I awoke yesterday at 4:20, I had a fantastically fun day. I had Grand Floridian breakfast, which was fine my first time but yesterday was great. I hadn't hung out with the Tig for a week and a half and forgot that he is fun. You know that phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?", well that is true of Tiger as well. All the other characters with me were in great moods as well which really helps.

Then went into Enchanted Pre-parade. My bud Christian and I had such fun that we ended up hanging out all day. Oh the stories I could tell of his first Studios visit, but alas I won't bore. After I met his girlfriend, Raquel. She is crazy awesome and full of dirty jokes which made her cooler.

Anywhays. I just wanted to proclaim my love of yesterday. Here's to many more.

Like a virgin

So today I lost my parade virginity. Yup, my first full fledged profesh parade for the mouse. My form of initiation was the parade bus urinating coolant on me. It was chilly and smelt like stank.

The parade itself wasn't my absolute best but still fairly good for my first time. I think the bus piss threw me off.

After precisely three hours and 12 minutes of Grid time (where I was schedualed to do nothing but sit), I got to go to the holy land. Target. If there was any well priced story I'd make love to, Target would be it. Then, a few friends and I took a nice voyage Waffle House (Florida's cheep ass version of Denny's), another first of mine. It was sucko food with so-so ambience. I got to play Bob Segar's "Night Moves" on the juke box. Awesome. If I'm ever having a lame day, Waffle House is where I'll be.

Virginities lost. Mediocre food digested. Target visited. Just another day in the life of your Editor-in-Chief, Casey Tregagle.